Last Friday, my son was 2.5 months shy of his seventh birthday and didn’t know how to ride a bicycle.

His best friend lives next door and has been riding a bike since he was four. He also rides motorcycles.

I grew up riding bikes. I raced bikes for several years; from my teens through my twenties. I love bikes.

My son never expressed an interest in riding a bike. None. He has three bikes. The first two are in great condition. They simply got too small while he grew and the bikes hung, unused, in the garage.

This started bugging me a year or two ago. How could he not be embarrassed? How could he not feel bad and a little down on himself?

Well… last Saturday afternoon he decided (with a little help from me) that he wanted to ride his bike. And he did.

It only took him about five minutes and he was doing laps around the park. It was incredible. Of course, he still has a way to go. Primarily, he needs to learn that it’s better to stop by using brakes than by running into a baseball backstop. Even so, he decided he wanted to do it and he did. He had a great time.

I was very, very happy. And proud. But even more, I was happy for him. He must feel great. He must be so proud of himself!

What a day. The sun was shining and there we were. A proud, proud papa and a kid who… didn’t even care.

Yeah, he didn’t care (at least not as much as I did). To him. it was no big deal. Riding a bike was just something he decided he wanted to do and he did it. I don’t think he really felt much better or worse about himself Saturday night than he did Saturday morning.

So why was I so happy? Why did I determine my child’s happiness should be related to whether he can do things other kids can do? Why would I expect his self-worth to be higher because he can do certain things.

If my goal for my child is to have him feel good about himself because of his accomplishments, I’m on the wrong path. Why would I want to train him up this way? My child doesn’t need an over-valued self-worth based on what he can do. He needs an accurate sense of who he is with (and without) Christ. Self-worth? Outside of Christ, what are we worth?

Unfortunately, this temporary moment of reflection probably won’t be quite enough. Down the road, when I see my kids struggle at things other kids can do well my first reaction will be to worry about my children’s happiness. And when I see my kids excel my initial reaction will be to think about how good it must make them feel about themselves.

Why?

Fallen. Parent.

Did I mention t-ball season is starting in 3 weeks…